Chewy's Christmas Vegetarian Black Bean Soup

This Post was contributed by Some Assembly’s brother:
Black Bean Soup, it’s why the Haitians stay in Haiti, didn’t you know?
    For this ambitious “Some Assembly Required” Christmas my contribution was the black bean soup. To understand why I was the perfect man for this job there are two things you need to know about me. The first fact is that I am poor. I realize that this, unfortunately, does not make me unique but what is special about my poverty is that it is new or, my accurately, my being self-sufficient is new. I recently graduated from college and am living in a three bedroom apartment with three other guys. It is crowded, messy and woefully under stocked with food – a result of all four of us being nouveau broke. One way to combat this sustenance shortage is to make soup. Soups can be made cheaply, you can make massive amounts at a time (your pot is the limit!), it saves and reheats easily, and is delicious! Because of these conveniences soups and chili are big at my apartment. The second thing to know is that I work nights at a gourmet soup café.  Now I don’t make the soups but I do serve and eat a lot of them so I am practically an expert. 
    So now that I have proved that I am a soup aficionado (and that I have a very high sodium diet!) I will let you know what makes a quality Christmas black bean soup.
    The first thing you’ve got to do is a lot of chopping. I mean a LOT of chopping. This is my favorite part and since this blog is about the joy of cooking allow me to indulge a bit here. Depending on the amount of soup you have you’re going to have varying amounts of vegetables to dice but for a hefty pot you’re going to want:
2 Green Peppers
2 Red Peppers
2 Yellow Peppers
2 Orange peppers (if you can find them)
1 Large Onion
1 Head of garlic (Don’t have to use the whole head if you don’t want)
 Then you chop the hell out of all of these. This, like I imagine most cooking, is best done while listening to music. Dicing is great because of its therapeutic value. Get a good knife and a good cutting board and you can space out for a good hour slicing, dicing, or julienning some vegetables. Slicing through some crisp vegetables, hearing the blade click against the board, I dare say it is as calming as mowing the lawn. This does take some time so it’s good to work with an assistant (WARNING: Assistants often try to garnish your credit!). At Christmas I had my very capable brother Pete. As I diced and drifted off to Xanadu, Pete prepared the beans. Two pound of black beans had been soaking over night in a pot so Pete rinsed the beans and replaced them to the pot with fresh water. The next step is to bring the beans and fresh water to a rumbling boil for 5 minutes then lower the heat and let them simmer. When all the veggies are chopped to satisfactory, minuscule cubes sauté them all together with a little olive oil in a pan. This softens them up. This only takes a few minutes to transform the segregated vegetable mound into the desired impressionist blur of green, red, and yellow.  Next you add the vegetables to the boiled bean pot and STIR IT UP! Finally add your choice of seasoning. Pete and I abide by the cooking is an art not a science philosophy in which spices are added on instinct and sight not in measured increments. Some good suggestions include:
Salt, pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, a little bit of crushed basil, teaspoon of chili powder.  A nice addition for a kick is some lime juice, too.
    After being properly seasoned the soup should sit on medium to low heat for hours being stirred occasionally. The longer it is on the heat the more thoroughly the flavors integrate. Finally, the last step is to remove approximately a third of the soup and purée it in a cuisinart then return it to the pot and you will have one crowd pleasing black bean soup ready to serve.